REVISION of "Stitches"

What is this dependency on me?
Dependency on you?
Look at what you've done to me.
No numbing agents to deflect what pain
Pierced my heart like needles to the flesh.
You claim to be around,
But you're neither here nor there.
A punctured mind was left behind,
Fraught with shades of blues and purples
Like berries in the green fields.
You are blissfully unaware of your status;
The God to my wounds.
You medicate them,
Sew up the reaps of pain softly,
Yet return to pull the strings.
No harmful intentions,
Nor apologies mentioned.
The missing strand in my genetic makeup,
You are the disease,
The disorder I carry
Void of antibiotics.
This permanence is the only reality
In your sick game of repair and destroy.
Strong, maybe unrealistic
Hopes for healing dwell in me.
But there will forevermore be a constant reminder;
A lingering scar.

Stitches

What is this dependency on me?
Dependency on you?
Look at what you've done,
Look at what you've left in
Your footsteps.
You are cold my friend,
Because you are bare.
You claim to be around,
But you're neither here nor there.
You always medicate my wounds that you inflict,
Yet you're not even aware.
Sewing up the reaps of pain, softly.
Yet you don't know that they're there.
And still you return to open those wounds back up,
No harmful intentions,
And pull apart the stitches,
No apologies mentioned.
You will fix it once more,
Then make wounds afresh again.
You will sew it back up,
But see,
The cycle never ends.

They

They block the wind,
And even on their oldest days,
Tired and weak,
When I am around,
They remain strong for me.

Fate explains that these things were
Meant to happen since the beginning of time.
Change knows we were just
In the right place
At the right time.

They Devil has me fooled,
But oh!
They have fooled the Devil.
They are attached to the mind of an angel;
The Devil's traitor.

They cradle my dreams and smooth out
The wrinkles
With a gentleness that I may never have.
But the angel,
Once so confused,
Has killed my heart along the path to righteousness.
To love.

They are filled with mysterious drawings
That I can never make out.
The alpha and omega.
The king and a crown.

Those arms, those arms,
You see.
They are all that's left to love me.

Forget

Can I forget?
Can I burn the memories,
If I burn the pages of the
Journals containing them?

You watched me suffer,
By your side,
Yet you wanted me
Near you.

Have I forgotten what happiness is?
Is it even real?

Is being happy gone,
Along with the days of scraped knees
Ring-pops
And innocent mischief?

Do I even want happiness?
I've simply got the instinct for being unhappy
Highly developed.

Could I forget?

Tempted to Fail

I am tempted to go the easy path,
The one most traveled by.
To give up on my life's desires,
Although I don't know why.

To put down the pen,
Sacrifce the dream,
Throw away the play.
So that I may have just one,
Just one,
Nothing day.

To give up the will, the drive,
The strain,
So that I may learn to breathe.
So that I may wake at the strike of noon
And lay in bed relieved.

I'd like to not wonder to myself,
"Where has my whole week gone?"
To have the time to read,
To write,
To draft a silly song.

I used to have a social life,
Now there's no time to talk.
I used to love to run,
Now all I wish to do is walk.

All I am these current days
Is just a ticking clock.
Until I break against myself,
And then the ticking stops.

But isn't it funny how life works
When you're ready to give in?
You find the strength to run the extra mile,
Just so you may win.

The light at the end of the tunnel
Is so far and faint...
Still I proceed,
For the distant light so small and bright,
Is all I really need.